


ILY2

by funnypoopies



Category: toilet paper usa
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnypoopies/pseuds/funnypoopies
Summary: Charlie Kirk and Kaitlynn Bennett have a wholesome bonding session over shitting their pants in high school.
Relationships: Kaitlyn Bennett & Charlie Kirk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	ILY2

“Ha, ha! It’s poopy Charlie-boy!”, the entire class of high-schoolers taunted. 

Charlie looked down at his own shit in shame. How could one person even poop this much? Charlie’s shits were loaded, sure, but they usually weren’t this runny… or stinky. 

Charlie just, stood there for a few seconds, taking it all in. “You’re a big boy now, Charlie!”, he thought. “How could you let this happen?”

Big, fat tears welled up in his eyes as he sobbed and ran to the toilet. He tried to ignore the mean-spirited comments that were shouted at him as he sprinted down the hallway as fast as his little baby legs could carry him, leaving a brown trail behind. 

As Charlie locked himself in a stall and struggled to clean himself up, he let out a pitiful wail.

“I just want my mommy.” 

.

Charlie was making rounds at his old high school, doing his part to spread political propaganda to the youth. He smiled to himself. He wasn’t a loser anymore, he was a key figure of Turning Point USA, a very real and very legitimate organisation. It felt good to look back and reflect. If he was going to wear diapers now, it would be out of a misguided sense of Owning The Libs, and not out of necessity. 

“Haha! Poop girl, poop girl! Kaitlyn shit her pants!” 

Charlie heard a familiar jeer coming from a nearby classroom. He stopped to track down the source of the noise and burst into the classroom. 

“Stop!”, Charlie boomed, commanding the attention of the immature high-schoolers. 

“So what if she shit her pants? I have too, and look at me now kids! I’m a key figure of Turning Point USA, a very real and very legitimate organisation!” He lectured. 

Kaitlyn looked up to him with great big eyes, teary and grateful. He gave her a single, stoic nod. 

The class sat in silence for a while, before bursting out in laughter. 

“Ha, ha! Charlie and Kaitlyn are pant poopers!” They cheered loudly together. 

Charlie sighed, and patted Kaitlyn on the back. 

“Let’s get out of here, kid.” 

.

After Kaitlyn had cleaned up, Charlie took out her favourite rifle from her bag and handed it to her gently. 

“Kids are stupid and mean Kaitlyn. Don’t worry about it, it happens to the best of us.” Charlie mused. 

Wiping her tears, she responded with a simple nod and a small smile. 

“Thank you, Mr Kirk.” 

For the rest of the evening, Charlie and Kaitlyn bonded together, seated on the bench far from the other kids. (They never wanted to touch it, because it had bird shit everywhere) They talked joyously about liberty and guns and late stage Capitalism. For the first time in their lives, they had found a kindred spirit. A true friend. 

“Like, I don’t get it, I should be able to carry guns to school if I want, you know!” Kaitlyn said. 

“Exactly,” Charlie said in agreement, “And you should be able to shit where you want too!” 

The two laughed together, watching the sunset. 

“You get it Mr Kirk, you get it.”

**Author's Note:**

> no


End file.
